relationships

#wedwellbrides: Amanda

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#wedwell bride and Seattle blogger, Amanda, tells us about planning her wedding and how she handles disagreements with her fiance. Check out her own blog, Call Me Winters, and instagram @callmewinters.

We are so happy to connect with you! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your love story? 

I am a PNW native in the thick of starting a new job, planning my wedding and creating content for my blog, Call Me Winters. My fiancé Mason and I got engaged in Brooklyn last October and will get married next March. I’m glad we have a long engagement because planning a wedding is a lot of work and can be stressful if you aren’t keeping your priorities on what really matters. Right now, we are trying to decide which caterer and photographer we should hire.
 

What has planning your wedding been like?

We have a long engagement (15 months) so planning started with finding the venue, picking a date, and asking our friends and family to be members of our wedding party. I know we need to book a caterer and photographer soon because the wedding is a year away, but it's a little overwhelming to weigh all your options and stay within budget so I'm procrastinating.

What ways have you been staying healthy throughout this process?

I put an effort into exercising, self-care, and keeping things in perspective. I take walks on my lunch break 2-3 times a week. I also take a bath or do a facemask to relax once a week. Mostly, I just try to check in with myself regularly to make sure I'm not on the verge of becoming overwhelmed or having a breakdown.

What's the biggest difference you've seen in your relationship since being engaged?

We've always had a happy relationship but we are SO happy being engaged and knowing we're going to be married.

How have you and your partner handled wedding planning disagreements?

We talk a lot about our differing priorities, our budget, where we can compromise, and what is the most important to us in the big picture. It helps us not get too nit picky or upset about things that don't really matter.

Mason and I talked a lot about what ultimately is the most important to both of us: Having a great time celebrating our marriage with our family and friends. We want them to look back on our wedding and have it stand out as uniquely ours. By focusing on that, little disagreements like whether we should put more money into craft cocktails vs. a videographer are easier to manage.

How have you handled moments in planning where you were unsure of yourself?

I turn to my fiance, friends and family, Facebook groups, coworkers -- if I have questions I always ask for people's thoughts and recommendations. It helps me feel more confident in my decisions.

What was going through your head during the proposal?

I couldn't quite believe it was actually happening. I was so shocked and excited and happy. It was unreal and overwhelming in the best way.

 

Lilia: What Really Changes After You Get Engaged

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Getting engaged changes everything. Even if you don’t think it will (like I did), it still does. This is one of the biggest decisions that you will make in your entire life, and making the decision will affect each person differently. Here’s my personal experience of how getting engaged changed my life.

1. Deeper relationship with your fiancee

This one took me most by surprise. I already thought my fiancee and I were as close as can be. We live together, have been best friends/dating for 4+ years now, and love each other’s company. Mentally, I didn’t think it could get much better! However, once we were engaged, there was this deep feeling of security and comfort in my gut from knowing we have committed to each other in a more powerful way. Now, when I look at him and we make decisions, I think of the long term (Babe, can you stop eating ice cream for breakfast?! I need you to be healthy 50 years from now!). It’s a beautiful and unexpected feeling to have the relationship continuously grow and develop as we transition into marriage.

2. Desire to live more authentically

After I got engaged, something shifted in my life mindset. I felt as if the decision to commit to my boyfriend for a lifetime was so true to my heart that I wanted every decision that happened to me afterward to have the same truth and love behind it. This manifested itself in different ways - some good, and some more challenging. One part of me wanted my work life to be as truthful to myself, so I started to work more on things that feed my soul like teaching yoga and writing. The other part of me didn’t want to hold onto any previous emotional damage or negative energy stored in my body. This translated into coming clean about a secret I had blocked in my mind for years. Love makes you do crazy things, and committing to a lifetime with my lover has made me want to recreate every part of my life to be the highest vibrational version of myself possible.

3. Closing the door to single life

Even though I haven’t been single for four years, getting engaged takes away any thought of single life that was previously acceptable. While I would’ve NEVER cheated on my fiancee in our relationship, I was able to entertain the thought. I am not mourning single life at all (I couldn’t be happier to have found my soul mate), but I am learning how to slowly let go of a previous mindset and enter this new one. If a cute guy shows up, who cares? If a guy I was once obsessed with finally takes interest in me, it will never matter! It’s a totally different feeling and transition once you have officially decided to get married. Those “What Ifs” in your head slowly begin to disappear.

 
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